You know what they don't tell you at time of diagnosis? It's that you're gonna grieve this life that you're still living, but that's exactly what Parkinson's does and today I'm going to share the truth that what I wish I would have heard this way back when I first got diagnosed and Stick around to the end because I'm going to share the one thing that helped me more move forward when I thought that I couldn't Alright, well, welcome to the channel. My name is Bryce. I want to thank all my loyal viewers for coming back and listeners for coming back You know, we've just exploded here and I couldn't be happier. This is just a makes my heart jump and excited So if you're new here, my name is Bryce and this is life in motion the Parkinson's podcast. So and this channel this podcast It's all about providing strength hope and support to individuals living with Parkinson's disease and their caregivers I share motivational stories tips and insights to help you navigate life with Parkinson's So if you're looking for this type of content, make sure that you subscribe Because today this is gonna be a good one. It's grieving the life You thought that you'd have Okay, grieving the life you thought you'd have and again at the end I'm gonna share something that just might help you on those really hard days Okay, so as you know when people hear the word grief they usually think of death, right? But there's another kind of grief and that one we don't talk about enough and it's the grief of a life you thought that you'd have the future the future you were planning the Version of yourself that you expect it to be and with Parkinson's that grief doesn't hit It doesn't hit all at once does it it creeps in? Little things little things start to change you start losing energy mobility and then a little bit of independence And that's when all of a sudden you start to realize that you're just that you're just not adjusting to this new normal You're actually starting to grieve something and that hits hard So if you're struggling right you're struggling trying to come to grips with this diagnosis. You just can't put it all together Right You're actually grieving and you're grieving the life that you thought that you're gonna have Okay The one that you thought the plans you had the future that you were having right this disease this Parkinson's comes in It just starts to or it feels like it's gonna start robbing it. Okay Robbing it and I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you today. Okay So before Parkinson's I had plans, right I had ideas about life what life was gonna look like what work was gonna look like what my travel the travel I was gonna do what my family how I was gonna be with my family and Even I you know, I had dreams or thoughts about how I was gonna grow old I mean, I didn't want to grow old. I still don't want to grow old. I want to be young forever. Don't we all come on? Come on somebody but you know what we think about it, right? But when Parkinson's shows up, it doesn't just affect your body. It starts to mess with your identity That's huge You know my identity looks right my identity at the time was probably a lot wrapped in my career first and family You know Danny my career my family So I had to give up parts of my career which meant I was giving up part of my identity part of what I was Living for I had to shift my roles in relationships, you know had to be a dad differently I had to be a husband differently had to be a son differently You know and I had to let go of that version of myself that I really liked Okay, I had to let go of that one that version. I really liked and what version is that you asked? Well, thanks for asking because I'll tell you the one that could go non-stop. I never missed a beat. I Could go non-stop. I could go a hundred miles a minute and not and I could just I could multitask and do I was just On fire, right? It was like all gas no brakes And I had to start grieving that I couldn't do that anymore You know, I used to joke that I have ADHD and I think I probably do I'm not sure but I probably do But I could literally go into a restaurant and I could be having a lunch with you and I could be having lunch and And we could have this great conversation And at the same time I had this innate ability to hear what was going around me or around going on around me I could tell what they were talking about next, you know next to the table over here and what was going on over there And you know, I'd probably stop you'd say oh my gosh They're getting divorced over here and holy smokes This guy's doing something over here at work that he probably shouldn't be doing and and yet I could still be focused on what you Were saying and I don't know maybe is that weird? I mean, it sounds weird I'm saying out loud and if it's not weird and you had this superpower Let me know but obviously I lost that Multitasking is not something that goes well with Parkinson's. It's not something that works very good with Parkinson's. It doesn't work Let's just put that way you can't it is almost impossible to multitask with part with Parkinson's So it's so it's weird But because on the outside like you're saying, you know, you look great. You look normal. Everything's fine Why are you changing? Nothing's happening here. Nothing's going on. But on the inside I Was saying goodbye to a version of me That felt like it was just slipping away And if I'm being honest that probably hurt more than any stiffness or tremors or my toes curling up It was tough It was really tough to to kind of walk away from that identity because it's there's so much fear involved in that Fear of what is it going to look like? What is it gonna be? You know, how bad is it gonna get how fast is it gonna get and so those things were just starting to consume and consume And and you just have to start also realizing that right? Do you feel that way? And like am I is that making sense? Have you felt that way in the past and you've gotten over it, which is great I hope you did but again stay tuned to the end stay with me here because I'm gonna share this mindset Mindset shift at the end that changed it all for me. Okay that changed it all Okay, because here's the wild part letting go made space for something new Right, you don't think of it that way you think I'm letting go I'm letting go of these things It'll never be the same But what I didn't realize is when I let go of something it opened up for something right when I stopped chasing What I used to be and I started discovering what still could be Okay, let me say that again. I stopped chasing what used to be and I started discovering what could still be I Began to share my story. I started connecting with other people living with Parkinson's and I started to realize I still have a purpose And I still have a voice like this podcast. This wasn't part of my original plan But it's been now become like one of the most meaningful things that I've ever done I love it and I love connecting I love building community and I love hanging out with you in the comments and and and I love That I'm doing something and maybe helping in a way any way I possibly can Now important thing to know the grief doesn't end it just changes shape But so do we? Now I don't want to sugarcoat anything Parkinson's is hard Okay, I I I make fun. I make jokes. I laugh about it I do those motivational minutes every morning or I try every morning to apologize I missed a couple lately, but it's been oh, you know, I can Parkinson's right anyway, um, but Just because I'm happy not happy just because I'm happy what am I telling you? I am happy just because I'm happy but because I'm Excited because I'm not looking down at the stuff. That's bothering me Not looking right now that my back is absolutely killing me right now. And it's just one of those things I'm having one of those days. Okay, so I'm not trying to sugarcoat anything and when I say when I talk about Mindset when I talk about like how you're gonna perceive something or how you should be thinking of something that does not by any means Now I want you to really get this it does not by any means mean that I'm not sore. I'm not stiff. I'm not bothered. I don't have bad moments and bad days So I want to be really clear about that. Okay, so I'm not gonna sugarcoat anything like Parkinson's is tough It's hard and if you're newly diagnosed, it's gonna be okay, right? You're gonna go through some challenges, but you'll be okay and no actually no matter where you are on the journey What's really interesting is is that we talk about being diagnosed and first diagnosed and we just don't know what's coming, right? We're not we're quite sure we're trying to figure it out or hit the keyboard We're googling everything we possibly can watching podcasts doing everything we can Well, what's interesting is because it's a progressive disease Okay, and that we really don't know where how fast or where it's going It's kind of like we're always being diagnosed. If you think about it, we're always searching. We're always trying to figure out what what's this new thing? What's this new thing I mentioned it on I think was last podcast or what maybe a couple of videos ago That I had the I'm getting hearing aids They're not in yet, but I'm getting hearing aids and that's new for me, right? and so my first question is old age or Parkinson's and Starting to do some research and I'm getting excited to share some a video with you Some things I'm learning about how our hearing is connected to Parkinson's or Parkinson's affects our hearing I should say Anyway, so we're always learning we're always trying to find something new and I encourage you and I say be I would say this be Diligent diligent diligent. Oh my god Diligent. Oh lord. Okay be diligent right with keeping yourself up-to-date and educated right stay connected here I will do my best to give you the latest the greatest things that I hear things that I that I've come across and I'll Make sure that I feed them down to you So and again if there's anything ever out there that you're wondering about or your question about you can't find answers Shoot me a comment or shoot me a comment or ask me a question Send me an email DM me on Instagram whatever you need to do And let me know and I'll do my best to help you and and if it's a something that everybody's asking about then I'll definitely Make sure I work it into the podcast. Okay, so I'm gonna be honest, right? It's given me some things that I never expected right? It slowed me down it slowed me down and and Sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes I don't hate it, but it's actually a good thing It slowed me down because when I did that it deepened my relationships It's made me more present more empathetic. You know, I've met people. I never would have crossed paths with otherwise I mean this you know what? I've met the best people The best people in this community the people with Parkinson's and their caregivers and people that have a heart for them You're amazing, you know, I mean this is like an amazing group of people so I never I mean I mean, it's a blessing really, you know, I've laughed, you know Sometimes at the most ridiculous symptoms because really what the hell else can you do? Right? I've cried I've grown You know, and maybe most of all I've learned what actually matters and it's not what I thought it was going to be it really wasn't what I thought it was going to be and You know, that's where you know, I'll share again this thing that helped me climb out of my lowest point And that's what I want to share with you right now Here it is. So here's the thing that's helped me the most. It wasn't a medication. It wasn't a routine or some miracle supplement it was letting go of the pressure to bounce back and Learning simply to be where I am. I Would say it again. It was letting go of the pressure to bounce back and Learning to simply be where I am You know, they always say like you get knocked down you get back up again. You're not get knocked down to get back up again I Got knocked down okay, and Instead of just jumping right back up. It's like wait a minute. Where am I now? What's happening to let me understand this and and then slowed things down. Okay, so to say that This version of me is still worthy right Think about that This version of me is still worthy Even if I move slower, even if I'm tired, even if my dreams look different now, my future looks different now I'm still me and I'm still valuable So if you're listening to this and you're in the middle of grieving Whether you're grieving a diagnosis or maybe you woke up this morning and something's changed or something's seeming different So you're starting to grieve that let me say this. You're not weak. You're not broken You're human Grieving the life you thought that you'd have is a sign of strength not failure. It means you loved the version of life Right. It meant something to you Otherwise, you wouldn't grieve it Now you're finding your way through something brand new It's okay to be sad and it's okay to miss what was and it's okay to dream again Even if the dreams look completely different or a little bit different We may have not chosen Parkinson's right who could but we could choose how we show up in the face of Parkinson's We can still create we can still connect we can still grow we can still have a life that matters We really can you know, I Was I'm not gonna get into it here, but I was married for a long long time with you know And And unfortunately, you know that didn't work out and I said parts that did Parkinson's have something to do with it I sure did it sure did I found myself 50 years old and single for the first time and since I was like 20 years old and I'm like, I'm like, oh, oh my god. First of all, I don't know. I didn't know how to date Well, I didn't know I didn't even know how to date, you know now But then I started thinking about this who in the world is gonna date a 50 year old man with a Disease that has no cure. That's progressive. That's gonna get worse that I can't promise what tomorrow's gonna look like Who in the world like how is it even possible? This is impossible. I start thinking it's impossible. But guess what? Guess what? I chose to say like I had a choice to make if you think about it Think about what I just said at that moment I had a choice to make like when I started having those thoughts and I started they're awful thoughts They really are but I had a choice to make I can even say, okay, forget it. I forget it. Forget dating I'm just gonna like I'm not gonna burden anybody. I don't want anybody's pity. I don't want to be embarrassed I don't have to talk about it. I don't want to have to do any of this stuff I'm just gonna say single and I could just stay there. I really could But I'm I don't want to live that way Right. I it's okay to be like I said, it's okay to be sad. It's okay to miss what was it's okay to be mad You need to grieve Your life's different and it's gonna be different but doesn't mean it's gonna be awful doesn't mean it's gonna be bad Okay So I had to make a choice and my choice was I'm gonna live. I'm gonna live. I'm gonna dream again I'm gonna see what those dreams look like now and Thank God I did. Thank God. I chose to to to show up in the face of it. Thank God I chose that to still go to still grow to still want something to still desire like to still want, you know Something I want to be happy man. I mean, I'm good now I'm you know, things are are not as good as they were whatever you want to call it like physically, but I'm good I want to enjoy my time But thank God because yesterday I celebrated my first year anniversary Yeah, yeah my first year anniversary never thought I'd be married again and actually said I'll never get married again but when you know, you know and And and I'm so extremely fortunate and so happy and I'm so glad that I got off the couch That's it. But you know what? I may have Parkinson's but Parkinson's does not have me I am NOT gonna let it control my life and neither should you Okay. Wow. Well, you know what if this episode resonated with you, please share it send it to somebody who might Be carrying some quiet grieving, you know Maybe somebody you know that that is feeling down and let them know that they're not alone And even and if you've been grieving the life that you thought that you'd have I'd love to hear your story in the comments I really would What's something that that you've had to let go of right and and what have you found in the process? Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. All right. So here you go. Thanks for playing this long. Please like this video It really will help it push it out to more people that need it and subscribe for more real talk and real hope All right. So this was life in motion and we're doing this together and until next time you keep showing up You're doing way better than you think