My brain thinks I'm 35, strong, sharp, and in control. But the reflection, my reflection, it's slower, tighter, and it's not quite me. With Parkinson's, there's this weird moment when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, and it feels like you're looking at somebody else. Well, today, we're going to talk about something that happens when the mirror doesn't match the mind. Well, welcome back to the channel. I want to thank my loyal viewers for coming back. You're amazing, and I love you. If you're new here, I'm Bryce, and this is Living with Parkinson's, the good, the bad, and the reality. This channel is all about providing strength and hope and support to individuals living with Parkinson's disease and their caregivers. I share motivational tips and stories and tricks, and insights to help you navigate your life with Parkinson's. I've been on this journey for 15 years now. I was diagnosed almost 15 years ago. No matter where you are in your journey, whether you're newly diagnosed or you've been here as long as I have or longer or shorter, if you're looking for this type of contact, then make sure you subscribe and join us. We're building a community here. As well, speaking of that, there's this new thing on YouTube, and at the top, I think it says memberships or something like that. Well, if you want to join me, I'm going to do a monthly Zoom meeting, just a Zoom meeting, just with an inner circle. It's like we're going to chat, we're going to talk, we're going to go through Q&A. It's just a time for me to spend with you for a couple of hours, if you want, once a month, and we're just going to dig deep and get to know each other, and hopefully I can help you with some things a little bit more personal, if that makes sense. Well, today's program, it's when the mirror doesn't match the mind. You know those days, like there's days that I feel totally normal. I wake up, I feel sharp, I feel motivated, I feel ready to go. Then I pass by the mirror or I catch a video of myself and I freeze. I'm like, who's that? That can't be me. I don't walk like that. I don't carry myself like that. I don't look like that. Do I? I do. That's one of the hardest parts of living with Parkinson's. Your mind holds onto the you that you once were, while your body keeps writing this new version. It's disorienting. It's disorienting. It's emotional. Honestly, it's very exhausting. There's this one time that I was watching a recording of this speech, this talk I gave years ago. Years ago, I'm talking probably like five or six, seven years ago. I noticed the stiffness in the tight shoulders, and I noticed the slow movements. I'm like, what? I remember thinking, well, that's not how I remember it. It wasn't because my memory was still holding onto this Bryce from years ago. Let's be real. The younger, faster, more confident version of ourselves, well, we like that guy or that girl, don't we? But Parkinson's forces you to evolve, even when you don't want to, even when your mind is dragging its feet, saying like, wait, I'm not ready to go. I'm not ready to let go of the old me. I'm not. That's what I want to talk about. Just for one second. Like that thing, you don't look sick. I hear that all the time. I listen. It means it's meant as a compliment. People are trying to compliment me. But man, it doesn't feel like one, because the truth is I'm sick, I guess. I'm sick, right? I'm just really good at hiding it sometimes. There's something incredibly lonely about having this invisible disease. Like, do I have to look worse for people to believe me? Think about that. On the flip side, I know people with visible tremors, facial masking, that unsteady gait, and for them, going out in public is a whole different kind of battle. People stare, people make assumptions, people judge, and honestly, neither experience is easier. That's why Parkinson's is so tricky. Some of us wish we look more like we have it, so that people understand, and others wish we look less like we have it, so people will stop staring. Like, wow, you can't win. But it's deeper than that. Let's go deeper. Let's go deeper. This isn't just about how others see us, it's about how we see ourselves. And that's where it hits the hardest. There's this identity shift that happens with Parkinson's, this quiet grief. And the grief is not for a person that you loved, but for the person that you used to be. Your confidence takes a hit, your self-image changes. And some days you look in the mirror, and you feel like a stranger staring back. But here's what I've learned. That version of me from before, he's still here. He's just evolving. He's not broken. He's becoming. I'm like Bryce 2.0, right? Fewer dance moves, but more wisdom. And you know what? I'll take that trait. It wasn't like much of the dancing anyway. How do you start to rebuild your self-image? Okay, well, let me give you something practical. Let me give you something practical. Start with a Parkinson's win list. What? A Parkinson's win list. Write down one thing every day that you did well. Even if it's just like I got out of bed, right? I took my meds on time. I laughed. I talked to somebody. I didn't give up. And speaking about taking meds on time, my God, big shout out to, I don't have it, but in one of the comments in the last video, we're talking about, when do we take our meds? And if we forget that we take our meds, and how do we, you know, I take my meds and 10 minutes later, I can't remember if I did, or my wife will text me like, when did you take your meds? I'm like, oh my God, I think it was like whatever time. And she found, and I put a link in, I'll put a link in the description as well, for timed caps. You just put them on your pills, and when you open your cap and you take your pills out and you close the cap, it starts a timer. It'll tell you how long ago that pill bottle was opened. What an, I mean, that's gonna be a game changer. It's gonna, it's gonna be a game changer. Anyway, so I'll put that link in the description. I found some on Amazon. I just, I'll throw it in there. You can find them, there's a bunch of different ones, but I'll show you the ones I got, and I'm hoping they're gonna work. I think it's gonna, I think it's really cool. I'm excited for it. So anyway, took your meds on time. I'm hoping to kind of clear that one up a little bit more. Anyway, but anyway, these small wins, okay, let me just say it again. You took your meds on time, you got out of bed, you laughed, right? You talked to somebody, you didn't give up. You ever go to bed, it's like, hey, I didn't give up. Those small wins, they help remind you of who you are. Right, they're gonna help reshape how you see yourself. And not through a lens of loss. But through a lens of growth. You're more than your reflection. You're more than your symptoms. You are still you, even if the packaging has changed a little. And to be honest, I actually think you're doing better than you think. Before we close, I wanna ask you this. Have you ever felt like the mirror doesn't match the mind? And how do you deal with that? What helps you stay connected to who you are? And again, for me, it's those small wins. It's writing them down. It's reminding myself. And then I have to remind myself, and you have to remind yourself too, that you are your biggest critic. You are the one that is always the one seeing things that probably some people just don't see. But anyway, drop those thoughts in the comments. I wanna hear from you. And you know, if this episode meant something to you, then please like, subscribe, and share with someone else who you think might need this today. And you know what, a great big thanks for you being here. Thanks for showing up. And remember, just because you look different doesn't mean you're not still powerful. And I'll see you in the next episode.