Some days I'm tired of being strong. I'm tired of smiling through it and I'm tired of saying I'm fine when I'm really not. I don't want to pep talk. I don't want advice. I just want one thing. Let me have a bad day. Hey everyone and welcome back. If this is your first time here, I'm Bryce and this is the Living with Parkinson's, the good, the bad and the reality. So this channel is where we talk about the real stuff, the hard, the hopeful and the honest truth about life with Parkinson's. And today we're going to talk about something that might make a few people uncomfortable because this episode is called Let Me Have a Bad Day and we're going to get right into it. So here's the thing. People love it when you're brave, right? They cheer you on when you're positive and they love the story of the fighter, the warrior, the one who never gives up. Don't get me wrong. I am all of those things, but I'm also human and some days I'm not okay. Some days I wake up stiff, foggy, frustrated and I'm already behind. And some days I struggle to move. I struggle to speak. I struggle to smile. I struggle, struggle, struggle. I mean, who can relate to that? I mean, it's not every day is a good day, is it? I mean, I wish it was. Don't we wish it was? Some days, some days, some days, some days I feel like the version of me that I used to be is falling and slipping further and further away. And on those days, I don't want encouragement. I don't want someone to fix it. I just want to be allowed to have a bad day. And you know what's when someone tells you, but you know, it's going to be okay, right? They say, but I get it. I understand, but it's going to be okay. Or they say like, but you're doing great or you've got this or you're such an inspiration. And, and maybe I have got this, but in that moment, I'm just trying to get through the day without like breaking, you know, and sometimes positivity, even well-meaning can feel like pressure. It's like saying you don't have permission to fall apart, but here's the truth. Even strong people need the space to unravel a little. Is that true? Do you ever feel that way? Am I alone in this? You know, in the comments, do me a favor, um, do you ever feel that way? You know, when you're having that bad day and it's like, I don't want to be placated. I don't want to be told everything's okay. I don't want to be told it could be worse. I don't want to say you're, you know, you're doing great. Do you feel that way? If you let me know, or what's the statement or something that someone says to you when you're having one of those days that just drive you nutty? I don't know. So as I said, even strong, I feel like I'm really strong, right? I feel like I'm 15 years into this journey with Parkinson's now, and I feel like I can handle anything, you know, but there are those days where you just wake up and there's like a new symptom or something new or, or, or something you couldn't do or something that I can't do, you know, um, that I used to be able to do before. And to be honest with you, which I'm always honest, but anyway, that last episode I did, that was really nice for music playing in the background. That last episode that I did was, it was really, it was kind of a hard one for me, to be honest, I'll be honest. And maybe I'm vain and maybe I'm, maybe I'm not, maybe, maybe I am vain, but I, I, this whole face of mine, that's going kind of give me that Parkinson's face, it's literally driving me a little bananas. And so it's a big, it's a big deal for me. And I'm processing, I'm actually processing it as in real time. I mean, I did that video. I was just looking at those old pictures and seeing that Parkinson face and oh my goodness. So, you know, I'm processing it. And throughout that, through that, through this process, you know, there's a day or two in there that, you know, I'm relatively always positive, almost always, you know, the glasses have full kind of guy. And, and I live in, I live by that, but even that strong people, even the ones that can do that, there are some days where it's just like, yeah, I just, I don't even want it. I don't want to hear it. You know, can I get a thumbs up for that? Anyway, what do I actually need on a bad day? So what, what, so what do I really want instead? Let me be real. Let me say today sucks without having to clean it up afterwards. And let me feel it, the sadness, the fear, the anger, all of it, because it's real. Let me rest, not because I'm weak, but because I'm been carrying this for so long. You know what? Let me come back when I'm ready because I always do. And that's the, that's the key. I always come back. I always do. And you always come back. You're here today. You're watching this or listening to this today, which means that you're pushing forward. Okay. You're going to be okay. And I'm going to be okay. We're all going to be okay. And that's what we need community for to help us all lift each other up when we're having bad days and whatnot, because it's only a bad day. Bad day is a singular. A bad day is a one day. A bad day is a one-time thing. It's a one day, right? Bad days, and turn into bad weeks, turn into bad months, turn into bad years. So if you can contain it to a day, then we're okay. If you can't, then let's, that's when, you know, maybe we need some help to kind of come back a bit quicker. And maybe we do need to start getting some of that positive reinforcement so we get some mind shift and some mind change going on. But you know, I almost want to say it again, you know, I want to say it again, because I know you might feel this way. And if you're a caregiver of somebody or someone, if you love somebody who has Parkinson's, this might be for you as well. You might have to allow them this for a moment. Okay. What do I want instead? Do you try to be positive all the time? I want you to let me be real. Let me say today sucks without having to clean it up afterwards. Let me feel it. The sadness, the fear, the guilt, because it's real. Let me rest. Not because I'm weak, but I'm tired. And you know what? Let me come back when I'm ready because I always do. If you love someone with Parkinson's or any chronic illness for that matter, this is one of the greatest gifts that you can give them. Ready for this? Let them be human. Let them be human. Don't rush them to be positive. Don't hand them a silver, don't hand them a silver lining when they're drowning. Just be with them. Be beside them. Because sometimes the best thing that you can say is, I get it. I'm just here for you. And you don't have to be okay today. I'm saying this to myself, by the way, right? Because I've spent a long time trying to be strong, trying to be the guy who's doing great. And I am. And while that's part of my story, it's not the whole story. So Bryce, let yourself have a bad day. Cry, rest, be mad, be still. And then when you're ready to get back up, because you always do, then you can get back up. And I want you to say that to yourself today. Just replace Bryce with your name, obviously. So, blank. Let yourself have a bad day. Cry, rest, be mad, be still. And then when you're ready, you get back up. Because you always do. And if you're watching this and you think you need permission to do this, here it is. Take the day. Take the breath. You're not failing. You're feeling. Say it again. You're not failing. You're feeling. So don't be so hard on yourself, because you are. You're the one that's the hardest. We're the hardest on ourselves. And as I said, did I have a bad day? I heard that song in my head. Did you have a bad day? As soon as I said that, I wish I could sing. But yeah, I had a bad day. You know, I had a bad day. And that's okay. And it's going to be okay. So when you got that new symptom or when you're feeling down, all right, reel it in for a day. That could be as on the podcast that we do on Sundays. Someone had said that, I think it was a Sunday one, eat a tub of ice cream. And someone else said, eat a tub of ice cream. And someone else said they, you know, binge Netflix day or something like that. So I said, okay, well, that'll be my bad day. A big tub of ice cream and a Netflix day. So whatever you need to do to get that day, just get it over with. Don't ignore it. Don't try to pretend it's not there. Don't try to will it away. Because sometimes if you're just tiring and exhausting, you're going to be more tired. You're going to be absolutely more tired. Okay. Does that make sense? I hope it does. I hope it does. And you know what? There's days that as a caregiver or a partner or someone, you know, that if you're there for someone all the time, you might want to need one of those days too. And it's okay. You have a hard job, right? I mean, there's trying days and you have to be full of patience. And I respect you and I honor what you do for the people that you love. And it's okay for you to have a bad day. It's okay for you to call one in. It's okay for you to take a day off here and there. And if you need permission, here it is. Take it. Take the day. Take the breath. You're not failing. You're feeling. Okay. All right. Thanks for being here with me today. Hey, if this resonated with you, or if you just needed space to not be okay, drop a comment below and let's normalize it. Let's just make it normal because that's the issue. If it's not normal, we won't do it. So let's make it normal for everybody and then we can all do it. We'll all feel normal. And if somebody you love is going through this, share it with them because maybe they need this more than they're letting on. Please like and subscribe and come back next week. We'll keep doing life together. The good, the bad, and the reality. So don't forget I'm Bryce. This is Living with Parkinson's and I'll see you soon.