If I could sit down today with the version of me who just got diagnosed with Parkinson's 15 years ago, man, would I have a lot to say because nothing can fully prepare you for this road. But there are things I wish I'd known, things that could have saved me some fear, some shame, and some wasted energy. So today I wanna share with you that to the newly diagnosed specifically, or maybe to the ones still struggling, what I would say if I could go back in time, stick around, this is the conversation I wish I would have had or wish someone would have had with me. Hey, everyone, welcome back to Living With Parkinson's, the good, the bad, and the reality. And if you're new here, I'm Bryce. This is a place for real talk about Parkinson's, the good moments, the ugly moments, the hilarious accidents, and hope that somehow that threads through it all. If you're finding value in these conversations, consider hitting the subscribe button. There's no pressure and there's no expectations. It's just an invitation to stay connected. And if you wanna go deeper, don't forget that Inner Circle is coming up soon. I talk about it quite a bit. It's a private membership where we're gonna meet live on Zoom once a month, no pretending, no filters, just real life with people who get it. You'll find the link in the description below, or if you're watching on YouTube, you can just click join. Alright, let's dive into what I wish someone had told me 15 years ago. So when I was first diagnosed, I was 40 years old, I felt like my identity shattered overnight, like somehow the real me had been erased with one sentence from a neurologist. And here's what I'd say now. You are still you. Parkinson's changes some things about your body, but it does not erase who you really are. I'm still funny, I'm still smart, I'm still worthy, I'm still needed. The world still needs you just as much as it did yesterday. Think about the day you got diagnosed, the day before you got diagnosed, you didn't know you had Parkinson's, and you maybe had still had value, maybe thought you had value. And guess what? Just because those words were said, didn't mean you didn't have it the day before, you just didn't know you didn't have it. You might have lived life a little differently. Does that make sense? That went deep. It was like, I didn't know where I was heading with that, it was going really deep, but I could have gone a lot deeper. But again, the year before I was diagnosed, I knew there was something wrong, it twitched, my hand twitched, I knew everything was okay, or not okay, I knew there was something going on with my body, but I was still doing things, I was still living life. And then all of a sudden, this diagnosis comes in and I'm like, huh, well, man, maybe I better stop doing this and doing this, because now I have it. Well, I had it the day before that, I had it the week before that when I was golfing, so just because I got diagnosed today, doesn't mean all of a sudden I need to stop and change and stop immediately. Think about that for 10 seconds, and if that resonates with you, hit that like button. Anyway, there was this time, maybe a year in, where I felt like I disappeared. Friends didn't know what to say and work felt different, and even in a crowd, I felt invisible. But what I didn't know back then was that this feeling wasn't about Parkinson's stealing my words, it was about me learning how to stand in my new reality. You're not invisible and you're not broken, you're still right here, okay, you're still here, it's still you. Early on, I thought I had to be the brave one, the guy who smiled through everything, the one who was handling it well, the one that had to be strong for my children, had to be strong for my parents, had to be strong for my friends, had to be strong at work. What I know now is you don't have to be strong every day, you're allowed to have bad days, you're allowed to cry, you're allowed to be scared, you're allowed to be fearful. Strength isn't about pretending, it's about refusing to give up even when it's hard. Let me say it again, strength isn't about pretending. What strength is, it's about refusing to give up even when it's hard. I remember sitting in my car outside the pharmacy one night, overwhelmed by meds and some side effect, and I was thinking, I don't know if I can keep doing this. I really said, I don't know, you know what, it's okay to have those nights, it's gonna feel broken for a minute, it really is. They're tough and I get that, I get it, I've had the nights, I've had the nights going, I just don't know, I don't wanna do this, I don't know, I just don't think I can do this for another 15 years or another five years or even another day. I'm done, I'm done, why me, stupid damn thing, I'm done. And it's okay to have those moments like I said, but the next morning, I get back up, you get back up, you move forward, one messy, beautiful step at a time. And if there's one thing that Parkinson's teaches you really fast, is that community matters, and I know I've said it a million times, but not everyone will understand you, some friends will fade, that's painful, it's really painful, but it's okay. The good news is there's a whole tribe of people right here, right now, who do understand. So you need to find your people, even if it's just one person to start, you need to find somebody who can relate, or some people that can relate, really. For years, I kept my diagnosis private, only a few people knew, my family and a couple of really close friends. But it wasn't until I finally started connecting with others and facing that, others that were facing those same battles with me, the same things that I was going through, and I was like, oh my God, you too, and oh my God, I'm not crazy, and oh my God, yeah, I get it, I get that. Well then, some of those battles, they started to change for me, and not because the disease got easier, but because I wasn't carrying it alone anymore, something wild about that. And if you're here today, you're already taking that step, you really are, you're not alone, and you're looking, you're seeking. But in those early days, I was obsessed with what ifs, what if I lose my independence, what if I can't work anymore, what if I can't do this, what if I can't do that, what if I can't do this, what happens when this happens? And here's what I'd say to me, here's what I would say now, your future is still unwritten, don't live in fear of a future that hasn't happened yet, plan wisely and adapt smartly, but then don't chain yourself to the worst case scenarios, there's life ahead, there's a good life ahead, it's beautiful, but messy and meaningful, but that's what we're doing, all those fears, you're chaining yourself to these worst, worst scenarios, right? Oh my God, what if I can't walk and I'm drooling down the side, I mean, it's always the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, so stop doing that, stop living for the future. I mean, so this is how I was gonna say, that sounds almost bizarre, right? Like stop living for your future and start living... But here's the thing, we live with this thing, I call it a thing, I sometimes hate to call it a disease, but I'm gonna say we live with this thing that we don't know, we don't know what the... We don't know, we don't know how long, we don't know how much longer we can do certain things, we don't know what that future looks like, do we, really? If we get honest, we just don't know. We can look at other people's lives and try to figure it out, where we're at in our process or what stage we're at and all this kind of stuff, but it doesn't matter. So if you're worried about a couple of things, and when I first got diagnosed, I was like, why me? How did I get this? What was it from? What was it from? Was it this? Was it, I banged my head playing hockey too many times growing up and that concussion led to this. I said, my grandmother had it, so it must have been genetics and I better get tested and see this, and I wonder about my kids having it. I was trying to figure out why I got it, and then all of a sudden I realized that we don't know enough about that yet, do we, really? Researchers don't know enough about that yet, so let's stop doing that. At this point in your life, if you have Parkinson's, it doesn't matter why you got it now. It really doesn't. Now it doesn't matter. You've got it and that's it. You've got it and that's it. So let's move on from like, why me? Why me? Or obviously, sorry, why? How did I get this? Where did it come from? Whose fault is this? It's really what we're trying to do. We're trying to lay blame on something or somebody. It's what we're trying to do, right? Is that resonating with you? Yeah, and if that's you, put that in the comments, let me know. Remember, I read every comment, so I'd love to know your thoughts on that. Are you trying to figure out why all the time? So I had to lay that down because what I realized is I was trying so hard and spending my days trying to figure this thing out, trying to figure out where it came from and then where it was going. I wanted to know where it was going. I was reading, watching, doing things and studying and trying to figure out what tomorrow might look like. And when I was doing all that, I realized that I wasn't living in today. I wasn't living... And I wasn't there, I wasn't present, I wasn't enjoying that day. I was studying, I was working, I was trying to figure things out. And when you have this thing, when you have Parkinson's, and you don't know how many good days you have left, you don't know how long you have, and I'm hoping... I mean, I'm going for another 15, come on, let's go, come with me, let's do 15 more of these good damn years. Why not, right? Why not? We don't know. But I'm not wasting one of them. I don't know, and I'm not wasting one of them, and neither should you. So some of my favorite memories, the deep conversations, the funny disasters, the simple joys that have happened after my diagnosis. I would have missed all of that if I had given up early on. Now, there's a strange... Excuse me. There's a strange pressure to keep up appearances after diagnosis. It's crazy. To pretend everything's fine, but adaption isn't gonna give up. Sorry, adaption isn't giving up. It's winning smarter. Winning smarter. Use tools, ask for help, rest when you need to. None of that makes you weak, it makes you resilient. For example, and I've said this over and over again, but it's because it's so crazy, it's a game changer for me. Like, for example, that simple tool, the pill bottle timer cap. That damn thing has changed my life. It really has. Not glamorous, not fancy, but it saves my sanity. Little adaptations like that aren't giving in to Parkinson's, they're reclaiming control. No longer do I have to worry, when did I take my pills last? I look at my pill bottle, it tells me the countdown. Oh, I took my pills two hours and 40 minutes ago, that means I have 20 more minutes to my next one. Crazy little game changer, but it's... And again, it's not... There's nothing weak about it, it's just why not? Why not? So, if you're newly diagnosed or even if you've been fighting this for a while, know this, you're still you. You don't have to be strong every second, and you deserve community. Your future is still yours to build, and adaptation is a kind of victory. If this episode spoke to you, please hit that like button and leave me a comment. I read and reply to every one of them personally. So, if you're ready to connect deeper, I want you to come and check out The Inner Circle, I really do. I love some of you, I mean, and you need to come, you join me. The link's in the below, click join, or in the link in the description below, and if you're not ready yet, that's okay too. There's no pressure, there's no expectation, I love you all. Just be present, just be present here, and be present and let me know you're here. Say hi, like the video, share the video, and subscribe. And remember this, you're not alone, your story is far from over. And now, guess what? I'll see you in the next one, and I hope you're feeling better.